This family counted their blessings!

Image via Wikipedia

I was fascinated as I read how this family made it through, or simply, pulling it through, the hard times in their life, even as the husband lost his job and had to stay home as what they call 'househusband' - a complete and opposite expectation from the local communities family structure, where the man works and the wife stays at home as the 'housewife.'

No, that isn't even the message that I wanted to point out here.

My point to make is that it doesn't matter anymore what others are saying, what your neighbours (especially if they can't help you) may think and say about the 'changes' that you apply in your family structure is irrelevant, so you can continue with your life - through the hard times.

Besides, there is nothing wrong with the adjustment you make.

Perhaps, it is time to 'open up' the mind, instead of the mouth.

I say, they are still a respectable family, in that the husband and wife will do even the 'unusual' to raise their family - and still keep being respectable.

Read on.....

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Adapting as a househusband

Letter from Zhang Lianguo

I REFER to "Count your blessings" (April 23) and would like to share my story as a househusband.

Similar to Budget Tai Tai's friend, Househusband (myself) was told by his boss that his services were no longer required by the company on an otherwise normal day in 2008.

All he received for his immediate release was two months' pay in lieu of notice.

After going through the "anger-denial-acceptance-frustration-calm-down" psychological process, Househusband decided to move on and start again despite being in his mid-40s.

Times are hard. It is tough for a middle-aged man to get back on the professional track.

Househusband cast his net wide to secure a job. However, he saw all his applications come to nothing.

As with many unsuccessful cases, he was categorised as either over-qualified or not experienced enough.

At a walk-in interview, he was told politely: "Sir, I am afraid this is a mis-match for the job which you are applying for."

Looking around the function hall teeming with young job-seekers with black hair prevailing over those with grey hair, Househusband left without questioning the rationale of the statement.

If not for a "Corporate Wife", Househusband would have probably been a taxi driver now. After weighing all factors, Househusband opted to be a househusband. (Actually there weren't many options left.)

Mine is a typical Singaporean family: Husband and wife were full time employees. The children attended school, while a foreign domestic helper (FDH) attended to the household chores.

With household reduced to a single income, the priority was to tighten daily expenses.

With a full time Househusband installed, the post of FDH seemed to be redundant. When the incumbent FDH left for home after her work permit expired, another was not hired.

My situation was a challenge to the family, as it totally "derailed" the traditions of the society we live in.

Well, as change becomes the norm in today's life, adapting is the way to go.

You might have noticed that even the taxman had rephrased the phrase "Dependent Wife" to "Dependent Spouse".

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Taken from TODAY, Voices - Tuesday, 27-April-2010
Adapting as a househusband
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More singles leaving it to chance to find their other half

By Melanie Yip, 938 LIVE | Posted: 23 June 2009 2135 hrs

SINGAPORE: More singles in Singapore are leaving it to fate to help find their other half, according to a recent survey conducted by local dating agency Lunch Actually.

While singles in Singapore cited more traditional methods of relying on peers or having family and relatives keep a lookout for that special someone, more have decided not to rush into things, and leaving it to chance.

In a survey conducted by the agency in 2005, only eight per cent said they left it to fate to decide who they will meet. This group has grown since.

Now, 14 per cent of singles surveyed said they do not mind leaving it to fate to find that someone who shares the same values and interests.

Lunch Actually's co-founder, Violet Lim, attributes this mindset change to media influence.

She said: "(This is due to) the movies that we watch, the books that we read. So we feel that it is only right that we meet someone by chance, as opposed to taking a more proactive approach to meeting someone.

"And because so many people are hoping to meet someone by chance, the probability of that happening is very low. So as a result, why many are still single is because they have not met anyone that they want to be involved with."

The same survey also found that single men and women in Singapore have different dating expectations. For example, almost 60 per cent of women say they are open to dating younger men. Half of the male respondents say they are not against dating older women.

In terms of assessing their partners on educational qualification, about 40 per cent of female respondents say they will not date men with lower educational levels, while more than 70 per cent of men say they are fine dating women with higher qualifications.

Men are also more receptive to dating women who earn more than them.

Three-quarters of the women polled say they will not date men who are shorter than them.

- 938 LIVE/yb

From ChannelNewsAsia.com; see the source article here.

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Man, 93, and woman, 89, tie the knot in Florida

Image via Wikipedia

Age-related relationship? Kindred situation? Who says you are too old to get married? Hah!

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06/09/2009 | 11:50 PM

WEST PALM BEACH, Fla. – One Florida couple is starting married life with 182 years of experience between them. Ebenezer Rose, 93, wed 89-year-old Monica Hayden on Sunday in West Palm Beach. The couple said they decided to get married after a brief courtship. Rose said he told Hayden that "each of us is living a lonely life. Why not get married?"

The couple first met in church about 20 years ago.

Rose's first wife died about four years ago after 58 years of marriage. Hayden is twice-widowed. – AP

From GMANews.tv; see the source article here.

Schools not ‘proxy arenas’

I believe this is the way to go, as highlighted earlier by some parents who vehemently argued that there should be this choice, given that some of the topics in secondary schools are very, very sensitive, and could spell the child’s future as ‘good’ or ‘bad’…

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Facts must be taught in the context of mainstream society’s values: Minister

Alicia Wong, alicia@mediacorp.com.sg

THERE will be new layers of stringent vetting, periodic classroom audits, and more information laid out for parents concerned about just what exactly their children are learning about sex and sexuality in school.

Prior to yesterday’s announced enhancements to the Ministry of Education’s (MOE) sexuality education framework, schools had had the autonomy to engage external organisations, both faith-based and secular, to conduct the courses. Two-thirds did so last year.

But recently, some parents were shocked to learn that the Association of Women for Action and Research’s (Aware) programme used by some schools, depicted anal sex as “natural” and “healthy”, and termed “homosexuality” a neutral word.

Clearing all doubt about his ministry’s stance yesterday, Dr Ng emphasised that the guiding principles of the MOE’s framework for sexuality education remained the same as when they were spelt out in 2000: Parents would bear the main responsibility, and facts must be taught in the context of mainstream society’s values.

“Let me make it clear to you what this means, so that there is no ambiguity. This means encouraging heterosexual married couples to have healthy relationships and to build stable nuclear and extended family units,” Dr Ng stressed. At the same time, he warned against groups seeking to use the schools as “proxy arenas” to push their own beliefs.

Citing how schools were dragged into the recent melee, Dr Ng said parents have the right to express concern if they thought groups like Aware were teaching liberal values “ahead of the mainstream”. But Singapore “must not go down” the United States way, “where schools become the proxy battleground for the Christian right and gay interest groups to settle arguments. Issues will not be resolved that way”.

And likewise, while some parents may learn to embrace their homosexual children, “schools are not the place to try to push for these outcomes, which are ahead of present societal norms”, he said.

Which is why parents will soon be empowered with more information about the programmes being taught, as well as opt-out choices, so they can decide if they want their children to partake of specific activities, or even the entire programme.

But can a programme espousing mainstream values truly engage youth questioning or experimenting with their sexual orientation, or engaging in pre-marital sex?

Dr Ng said, parents of students who require more help will be notified, and given the choice to attend workshops and even have their children provided more information on contraception.

As for students who don’t want their parents to be informed, teachers will have to help in “practical” ways. “Those are problems on the ground ... systems-wise, we would want to stick to a principle where parents must still be responsible for their children,” said Dr Ng.

Mr Edward Ong, president of The Singapore Planned Parenthood Association (SPPA), suggests that students who “develop different sexual orientation or experiment with alternative practices can be referred for appropriate counseling and expert advice that would be most helpful for them”.

The SPPA has offered sexuality education programmes for over 20 years, and Mr Ong believed the new requirements – which include a stringent vetting process of external vendors by the MOE and periodic audits – would not hamper the group’s continued involvement. It is important to reassure parents “considering the recent overblown issues”, he said.

And some parents are, indeed, pleased. Mrs Peggy Ng, in her 40s, said: “It is important that MOE tightens control and vet through the content thoroughly. The teachers teaching these topics should also be screened and trained to teach based on guidelines.”

From TODAYOnline.com – Friday, 22-May-2009; see the source article here.

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