Like Apollo's Failure to Launch?

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At first glance on the title, I'm immediately reminded of space shuttles that, after all the preparation and hardships, the rigorous trainings and special suits - everything - it is a fiasco! Instead of applause and shouts of joy and congratulatory cries, what we hear is the opposite, all summed up in the words, "failure to launch."


Not to take out the excitement from the written article itself, do read on...

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Failure to launch

How do singles who live with their parents do it and mature at the same time?

by Tabitha Wang

My parents have come to Hong Kong for a fortnight. They've been here only two days and I've regressed by as many decades.

At this rate, I'd be babbling like a Teletubby by the weekend.

That is because, despite the fact that I haven't lived with them for 20-odd years, they still treat me as if I've never left home.

"Have you taken your cough mixture?"

"Are you going out with your hair wet like that?"

"Stop watching TV and eat your meal."

And that's only in the first hour they've been at my place.

I half-expect them to trot out curfew times and ask whom I've been going out with.

On the plus side, it means hot meals the moment I get home, not having to feed the cat before I go to work and putting the plates into the sink knowing that they will be washed by the next morning.

It's great having everyday decisions taken away from me - like what to have for dinner, whether to run the washing machine, when to go grocery shopping …

Leaving me free to make the important decisions - like what channel to watch on television.

"I could get used to this," I told my husband yesterday.

"I don't think it's healthy. Look how childish you have become," he said, drawing my attention to what I was wearing.

He was right. Without realising it, I had dressed in anticipation of the "what do you think you're wearing, young woman" question: A grotty big T-shirt instead of my usual skimpy nightgowns.

And mentally, I had gone back to my old ways of delegating responsibility to my parents. Somehow, being a kid again and settling the bills just didn't seem to go together.

Ah well, it's only for two weeks. Then I'd go back to being a lean, mean fully-functioning adult again.

This is just a hiatus.

But this started me thinking about my single friends who were still living with their parents and wonder how they do it without it stunting their maturity in some way or other.

Imagine being a high-flying boss whom everyone fears in the office, then going home to Mum telling you: "I've washed your underpants and packed your lunch in your favourite Hello Kitty container." Surely, that does cramp your style?

I once visited a 40-something single friend who lived with her parents.

Her Mum kept nagging her to get married but, at the same time, told her she had to be home by 10pm while her Dad vetoed her clothes if they were too revealing.

So my friend goes around in long-sleeved shirts and ankle-skimming skirts and without makeup all the time.

She could have done a lot more with herself if only she could get past the style dragons at the gate.

Many singles say they live with their parents not out of choice but necessity. They can't move out until they're 35 and can afford their own HDB flat.

Maybe they should be allowed out earlier. We make housing allowances for the elderly so why not the singles?

Some may say growing old is not a matter of choice but being single is. But really, when you're living at home with your parents, with a curfew (even unspoken), what chances do you have to go out, meet people and make your choice?

The number of singles in Singapore is increasing.

The census showed that more people aged 30 to 34 were single in 2008 (40.8 per cent for men and 29.4 per cent for women) compared to 1998 (33.3 per cent and 21.6 per cent).

The proportion of singles aged 45 to 49 also rose (13.6 per cent and 12.8 per cent in 2008 compared to 9.5 per cent and 12.5 per cent in 1998).

To cater to the rising numbers, maybe the HDB should convert flats in unpopular areas into studios and turn them into a singles block - much like a hostel for working singles instead of students.

At my university hostel, many hooked up - boosted by the huge concentration of singles in one place and the lack of parental supervision.

I think that magic formula could work in the singles block too.

As long as parents are banned from visiting.



Tabitha Wang gets her own back when her parents treat her like a child, by treating her husband like a baby.



Taken from TODAY, Voices - Budget Tai tai column; source article is below
Failure to Launch
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More singles leaving it to chance to find their other half

By Melanie Yip, 938 LIVE | Posted: 23 June 2009 2135 hrs

SINGAPORE: More singles in Singapore are leaving it to fate to help find their other half, according to a recent survey conducted by local dating agency Lunch Actually.

While singles in Singapore cited more traditional methods of relying on peers or having family and relatives keep a lookout for that special someone, more have decided not to rush into things, and leaving it to chance.

In a survey conducted by the agency in 2005, only eight per cent said they left it to fate to decide who they will meet. This group has grown since.

Now, 14 per cent of singles surveyed said they do not mind leaving it to fate to find that someone who shares the same values and interests.

Lunch Actually's co-founder, Violet Lim, attributes this mindset change to media influence.

She said: "(This is due to) the movies that we watch, the books that we read. So we feel that it is only right that we meet someone by chance, as opposed to taking a more proactive approach to meeting someone.

"And because so many people are hoping to meet someone by chance, the probability of that happening is very low. So as a result, why many are still single is because they have not met anyone that they want to be involved with."

The same survey also found that single men and women in Singapore have different dating expectations. For example, almost 60 per cent of women say they are open to dating younger men. Half of the male respondents say they are not against dating older women.

In terms of assessing their partners on educational qualification, about 40 per cent of female respondents say they will not date men with lower educational levels, while more than 70 per cent of men say they are fine dating women with higher qualifications.

Men are also more receptive to dating women who earn more than them.

Three-quarters of the women polled say they will not date men who are shorter than them.

- 938 LIVE/yb

From ChannelNewsAsia.com; see the source article here.

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