Pages

Monday, November 17, 2008

Teenage runaways

They are getting bolder

 

Ong Dai Lin

dailin@mediacorp.com.sg

 

She dropped out of school at 14, when she could not cope with her studies, and worked as a waitress instead. Hanna (not her real name) then ran away from home.

 

“Three of my friends planned to run away together because they had family problems … we would hang out at another friend’s house and one day, they said they wanted to stay there,” she told Today.

 

“I followed them.”

 

Hanna would go to work in the morning and return to the house to freshen up before hitting the shopping centres with her $600 monthly salary.

 

The teenager, now 17, said she was bored at home: “My parents didn’t allow me to stay out after 10pm, although I could if I call back at night. But I didn’t call back sometimes because I didn’t have enough money in my prepaid card.”

 

She was found a few months later after her parents made a police report.

 

More teenagers like Hanna are running away from home, according to the Crime Library and counsellors whom Today spoke to.

 

A spokeswoman from the Crime Library, which helps to find missing persons, said the number of such runaway cases has increased to more than 10 a month — and 450 in the last three years.

 

From the start of this year until September, the non-profit organisation Crime Library handled 112 cases of teenagers reported missing by their parents.

 

Ms Nur Faezah Safaruan, centre manager of Ain Society, a voluntary welfare organisation which works with youths at risk, said eight out of every 10 runaway cases she handles are girls — compared to half that number a year ago.

 

Girls tend to use running away as a form of “passive retaliation” to seek attention from parents. Boys tend to engage in acts that will get them in trouble with the law, such as fights and gang activities.

 

Ms Faezah said: “Girls want to be ‘consoled’. They want constant attention. If they run away, their mothers will be worried and then they’ll feel needed.”

 

Most teenagers run away because they want “freedom” from family problems or the freedom to stay out with friends, said Dr Carol Balhetchet, director of youth services at Singapore Children’s Society.

 

While these reasons are not new, “the difference now is that they’re bolder”, she said.

 

Also, the runaways are now savvier, said Ms Faezah.

 

Besides staying at beaches, void decks and friends’ houses, they work part-time at fast-food outlets, second-hand neighbourhood mobile shops and night markets.

 

Suhailah (not her real name), 17, stayed at her boyfriend’s house for four months because she was upset that her parents were getting divorced. “His mother did not object to me staying in their house,” she said.

 

When her father found out she was at her 27-year-old boyfriend’s house, he persuaded her to return home.

 

Counsellor Linda Chia from Shuqun Secondary said parents have to communicate more with their children to understand what they go through in their growing-up years. She also said that although schools now have a full-time counsellor, more can be done to help runaway teenagers.

 

“Sometimes we may need additional resources to help the child holistically, like getting them more involved in community projects to see how other people are living in order to appreciate their own lives,” said Mrs Chia.

 

Ms Alphra Tse, counsellor supervisor at Yong-en Care Centre, urged teenagers to think about the efficacy of running away from home.

 

“When problems happen at home, running away is only avoiding the problem and doesn’t solve it,” she said.

 

“I would encourage children to communicate with their parents … if their parents really cannot understand them, they can share their thoughts with a teacher, counsellor or someone who can point them in the right direction.”

No comments:

Post a Comment