They still deserve kindness and respect

From My Paper, HOME, My News
TUESDAY SEPTEMBER 9, 2008

ON WOMEN WHO CHOOSE ABORTION

JILL ALPHONSO

ALTHOUGH there may be some who disagree, I was pleased to hear that Singapore’s pro-choice abortion law will not be changed.

Health Minister Khaw Boon Wan responded last month to questions asked in Parliament, following the Government’s call for more babies. Mr Khaw said that the 24-week time frame for abortions, with counselling for all women considering abortion, will remain the same.

When abortion was made legal in 1974, it was to “safeguard the health and well-being of the woman who has, for various reasons, decided to terminate her pregnancy”, he said.

This is a forward-thinking stance that ensures women here are given options, regardless of their circumstances.

It’s not an easy topic to discuss, much less to pass legislation on. Hong Kong and Poland are two countries that have banned abortion on demand, allowing it only if it saves the mother’s life.

Abortion is – and should be – a personal choice. It’s a serious decision with health risks and potential medical consequences, but retaining Singapore’s policy on it speaks volumes of our Government’s commitment to freedom of choice and women’s rights.

Now, I won’t speak for those who choose to abort for frivolous reasons. According to a report in yesterday’s my paper, some reasons – though doctors note that these cases are rare – that women undergo the procedure include “needing to take holidays and wishing to stay slim”.

All I’ll say is that if you’re one of these women, you need to seriously consider where your sense of moral responsibility lies.

Abortion has helped a number of people I know. Those with firm religious beliefs will say that abortion is taking a life, so I don’t make that statement lightly.

But pro-choicers like myself will say that there are two lives involved – the mother’s and the baby’s. For some, having a baby at the wrong point will ruin two lives, not save one.

The choice to have an abortion is, more often than not, a dark one. From all the literature I’ve read, and conversations I’ve had, it feels like having your body violated, and that you are indeed trading a life for yours. Think about that, with compassion and not righteousness.

No matter what choice she makes when it comes to abortion, a woman should be supported, not condemned, by her society.

I remember accompanying a friend to her operation in Singapore. I wasn’t allowed into the ward with her, but I saw the looks she was given by the nurses on duty, and I noticed the gruff tone of their voices when they admitted her.

When she was put on the operating table, she later told me, the nurses “manhandled” her. She described being practically slapped awake from anaesthesia by another nurse, who simply walked away once my friend opened her eyes.

She was only 17 at the time. But she had made her decision logically and without desperation. She simply felt she couldn’t raise a child then.

Despite the judgmental treatment she received, I’m glad that she did not have to go through the days when abortion was not legal. Before abortion became legal in the United States during the 1970s, there were horrible accounts of procedures with wire hangers, knitting needles and kitchen knives.

I’m glad that my friend was at least in a clean and safe environment. But she should have been treated with kindness and respect. She shouldn’t be judged – certainly not by the medical professionals she had entrusted herself to.

Abortion is a painful topic – no one should take it lightly.

But trust me, most women who choose to go through the procedure have thought about it much more than anyone else.

It’s not a throwaway decision, and women should not be punished, or be looked down upon, for it.

myp@sph.com.sg