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Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Don’t abort baby, give it up for adoption
From My Paper, My Say
THURSDAY SEPTEMBER 11, 2008
I REFER to the column, “They still deserve kindness and respect” (my paper, Sept 9).
It was a great article and I would like to commend Ms Jill Alphonso for putting her views forth.
A foetus is a human being at a certain stage of its development.
Therefore, terminating a foetus’ life is the same as terminating that of a human being.
While abortion might not be a crime where it is permitted by law, whether it is moral or not is a different issue.
I am uneasy at the thought of abortion, as it is the killing of a human being who is capable of feeling pain.
I agree that abortion should not be carried out for frivolous reasons, such as wanting to have time for holidays or to stay slim.
However, abortion is not a means of family planning. Those who do not wish to conceive should be aware of the measures they can take to avoid it.
Perhaps such women have taken the necessary measures but received unexpected results.
Have they considered giving up their baby for adoption?
Aborting a foetus with severe defects might be a rational choice. But what if the baby is healthy?
I would have a hard time giving the correct advice.
As Ms Alphonso says, abortion is a painful topic, and no one should take it lightly.
With Singapore’s low birth rates, I would prefer to see a woman giving her baby up for adoption rather than aborting it. There are many who are looking for babies to adopt.
Mr Richard Woo
THURSDAY SEPTEMBER 11, 2008
I REFER to the column, “They still deserve kindness and respect” (my paper, Sept 9).
It was a great article and I would like to commend Ms Jill Alphonso for putting her views forth.
A foetus is a human being at a certain stage of its development.
Therefore, terminating a foetus’ life is the same as terminating that of a human being.
While abortion might not be a crime where it is permitted by law, whether it is moral or not is a different issue.
I am uneasy at the thought of abortion, as it is the killing of a human being who is capable of feeling pain.
I agree that abortion should not be carried out for frivolous reasons, such as wanting to have time for holidays or to stay slim.
However, abortion is not a means of family planning. Those who do not wish to conceive should be aware of the measures they can take to avoid it.
Perhaps such women have taken the necessary measures but received unexpected results.
Have they considered giving up their baby for adoption?
Aborting a foetus with severe defects might be a rational choice. But what if the baby is healthy?
I would have a hard time giving the correct advice.
As Ms Alphonso says, abortion is a painful topic, and no one should take it lightly.
With Singapore’s low birth rates, I would prefer to see a woman giving her baby up for adoption rather than aborting it. There are many who are looking for babies to adopt.
Mr Richard Woo
Younger hubby? It’s OK with me
From My Paper, My Lifestyle
THURSDAY SEPTEMBER 11, 2008
ON AGE GAP BETWEEN SPOUSES
ANA OW
I’M A big believer in the philosophy of age being just a number.
And, now, I’m learning exactly how true that is.
At age 32, I find myself blessed with the love of a 20-year-old man. He made his heartfelt vows to me in June before 70 people at our small wedding celebration.
There’s more: come November, we are going to be first-time parents after having dated for just a year.
We first met in dance class when I was a teacher at a local dance studio. Then 16 going on 17, he obviously wasn’t suitable dating material for me.
But when he turned 19 and we began to socialise both on and off the dance floor, it became apparent that we were connecting on a deeper level.
He listened, providing comfort and warmth in a way I hadn’t felt before. He doesn’t play the mind games of an older man. Nor does he have the ego of one. Even though I felt a little like Mrs Robinson, he almost made me feel as though I was in my teens again.
And we were sure of marriage shortly after our relationship began.
We made plans to marry in a typically modern fashion: when I ran out of closet space after living with him for eight months.
We were all set to start saving up for a wedding bash and a nest to call our own. And then came the baby, throwing a sweet spanner in the works and speeding up the process.
Now, my husband is confined in camp and will have just ended his basic military training (BMT) by the time I deliver in November.
While it has never occurred to me that it would be an issue to commit to someone 12 years younger while carrying my first-born, there were those who were angered by my choices.
My father maintained a stoic yet somewhat shocked demeanour. He has calmed down somewhat since we got married and has even become quite supportive. My aunt, his younger sister, however, demanded that I re-think my actions.
Then there are other auntie-types who gossip and dwell on the situation, unable to accept that people more than a decade apart could find love and acceptance with one another.
Our reality does not escape me. He’s doing BMT in Tekong now and I’m alone, whereas my other mummy-to-be friends have their husbands (who are all closer to their age) ferrying them around to their ultrasound check-ups.
There’s also a certain pressure on me as I become the sole breadwinner in the equation. And as he progresses into National Service, I find myself missing him.
He gets five minutes every night on the phone with me now that he’s at field camp. I know that he feels frustrated and helpless, trying to squeeze in every ounce of love and support into one short conversation.
And though there are those who say that he’s too young to be taken seriously as a husband or a father-to-be, he takes so naturally to his new role.
While his friends can hardly see their future beyond Friday night clubbing, he delights in
trips to Ikea, plans for homeownership and obsesses over which household appliances would be the best buy.
I have no doubt that he’ll make the best of fathers.
He talks to the baby in my belly often, reading him fairytales on the weekends when he books out from camp and nagging me to remember to “play the Mozart music at bedtime” to develop his son’s spatial-reasoning abilities.
Naysayers can criticise us, but the one I take the most comfort from these days is my unborn child, whose lack of life experience makes him not naïve but, in my mind, the master of living without fear of rejection and failure.
In any case, the way he kicks in my belly sure feels that way.
myp@sph.com.sg
THURSDAY SEPTEMBER 11, 2008
ON AGE GAP BETWEEN SPOUSES
ANA OW
I’M A big believer in the philosophy of age being just a number.
And, now, I’m learning exactly how true that is.
At age 32, I find myself blessed with the love of a 20-year-old man. He made his heartfelt vows to me in June before 70 people at our small wedding celebration.
There’s more: come November, we are going to be first-time parents after having dated for just a year.
We first met in dance class when I was a teacher at a local dance studio. Then 16 going on 17, he obviously wasn’t suitable dating material for me.
But when he turned 19 and we began to socialise both on and off the dance floor, it became apparent that we were connecting on a deeper level.
He listened, providing comfort and warmth in a way I hadn’t felt before. He doesn’t play the mind games of an older man. Nor does he have the ego of one. Even though I felt a little like Mrs Robinson, he almost made me feel as though I was in my teens again.
And we were sure of marriage shortly after our relationship began.
We made plans to marry in a typically modern fashion: when I ran out of closet space after living with him for eight months.
We were all set to start saving up for a wedding bash and a nest to call our own. And then came the baby, throwing a sweet spanner in the works and speeding up the process.
Now, my husband is confined in camp and will have just ended his basic military training (BMT) by the time I deliver in November.
While it has never occurred to me that it would be an issue to commit to someone 12 years younger while carrying my first-born, there were those who were angered by my choices.
My father maintained a stoic yet somewhat shocked demeanour. He has calmed down somewhat since we got married and has even become quite supportive. My aunt, his younger sister, however, demanded that I re-think my actions.
Then there are other auntie-types who gossip and dwell on the situation, unable to accept that people more than a decade apart could find love and acceptance with one another.
Our reality does not escape me. He’s doing BMT in Tekong now and I’m alone, whereas my other mummy-to-be friends have their husbands (who are all closer to their age) ferrying them around to their ultrasound check-ups.
There’s also a certain pressure on me as I become the sole breadwinner in the equation. And as he progresses into National Service, I find myself missing him.
He gets five minutes every night on the phone with me now that he’s at field camp. I know that he feels frustrated and helpless, trying to squeeze in every ounce of love and support into one short conversation.
And though there are those who say that he’s too young to be taken seriously as a husband or a father-to-be, he takes so naturally to his new role.
While his friends can hardly see their future beyond Friday night clubbing, he delights in
trips to Ikea, plans for homeownership and obsesses over which household appliances would be the best buy.
I have no doubt that he’ll make the best of fathers.
He talks to the baby in my belly often, reading him fairytales on the weekends when he books out from camp and nagging me to remember to “play the Mozart music at bedtime” to develop his son’s spatial-reasoning abilities.
Naysayers can criticise us, but the one I take the most comfort from these days is my unborn child, whose lack of life experience makes him not naïve but, in my mind, the master of living without fear of rejection and failure.
In any case, the way he kicks in my belly sure feels that way.
myp@sph.com.sg
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